HANDLING CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS: BEING ASSERTIVE WITHOUT BEING AGGRESSIVE
By J. N. HALM
The tension in the banking hall was becoming unbearable. The ambience was so poisoned with anger that one could feel it just by walking in. True, the change in the banking software had not gone the way management planned it and there had been some considerable number of complaints from customers. However on this particular Friday afternoon, things had gotten to a head. The line had been growing longer by the minute as customers filled the banking hall for various transactions before the long New Year holidays. The officer in charge of client relations happened to be in the thick of affairs. It was his job to see to it that the situation was handled as professionally as possible. On the whole, he had done a good job of keeping the customers calm, at least up until that particular customer walked in.
He was overly boisterous, shouting his lungs out and demanding instant service-something that was almost impossible under the present circumstances. As calmly as he could, the customer relations manager managed to get this gentleman to the side and tried to reason with him, but his logical explanations only further angered the customer. The deliberations got to a point where the customer was at the point of physically manhandling the banker. The banker was in a dilemma. He could decide to be aggressive and call in security for the customer to be bundled away but that meant the loss of a customer. Statistics did not favour that move; 90% of unhappy customers will not return, one unhappy customer will tell nine others and 13% of very unhappy customers will tell at least 20 other people. However, something had to be done before this man’s behaviour infected the entire banking hall. He was in charge of the banking hall and had to, in the very least, assert his authority, but how was he to be assertive without being aggressive?
I believe this opening vignette is one that most people who handle customers have experienced, at least once, in their career. The dilemma that faced the banking official that Friday afternoon is one that most experts agree requires tact. Tactful handling of the situation could save so much but a single wrong move and he would cost his company some money.
Most customer service personnel are at lost when it comes to handling customers of the kind described above. This is understandable because human as we all are, it is quite difficult to keep one’s cool when faced with aggressive behaviour. The natural tendency is to respond likewise. Customer care professionals cannot afford that kind of behaviour. They must be assertive not passive, and assertive without being aggressive. How is that possible? In fact what is the difference between being passive, aggressive or assertive?
To be passive is to suppress the expressions of one’s feelings, opinions or rights for the fear of hurting the feelings of another person. Customer service professionals who are over-considerate of the feelings of their customers tend to behave passively when they come in contact with disgruntled customers. These are the professionals who tend to be so insecure of the relationship they have with their customers that they believe being passive and receptive to all of the customer’s desires and wants is the only sure way to keep the relationship going. This stance might seem to yield results as customers will become tied to the company, but in the long run the relationship might go sour.
It is much like giving your child all the freedom in this world. A time will come when he or she might not get what you have always been giving, resulting in some disappointments which might result in some undesirable behavioural tendencies. Always assuming a passive stance is also akin to the lover who allows his or her partner to believe everything they want in this world will be provided for, only to be disappointed one day. The result is almost always a breakup of the relationship.
The reasoning behind a passive customer care approach is to please the customer always which in itself is not bad. The question however remains: is it possible to please the customer always? Experience tells us that it is almost impossible. There will be times when you have to disappoint the customer, albeit a little and not always. At such times the strength of the customer relationship is put to the test. If the relationship had been built on realistic expectations, it might stand the test. However, if the customer had been made to believe that his or her wants will always be acceded to, there are bound to be problems for both the care giver and customer. For the professional, there will even be feelings of anxiety whenever he or she comes into contact with the customer. Will I be able to meet the customer’s demand this time? What happens if I am not able to? Will the customer move to my competitor? These are some questions that would keep tormenting the business professional. In the long run, the situation will affect the one’s confidence and mental well-being. Dr. Chris Williams, a noted consultant psychologist from the University of Glasgow Medical School writes that such an attitude leads to feelings of ‘martyrdom’ and “continuing loss of self-esteem” on the part of the passive person. More often than not, assuming a passive attitude towards a customer, especially one with complaints, might seem the easiest way out of the situation, however it can result in bad feelings about one’s self later on.
Other business professionals take their response to the other extreme of responses to customer complaints. They take an aggressive stance. Aggression is a disposition to behave in ways that demean or puts down the other person. It is an expression of one’s feelings, opinions or rights in ways that does not accord respect to the other person’s feelings. Aggression is not necessarily violence but can invoke thoughts of violence which, if not checked, can result in violence. Aggression and anger go hand in hand. The reasoning behind the aggressive behaviour is to win at all costs. The aggressive business professional is out to prove that the customer is wrong. He or she might succeed in doing so. In the short term, the professional might have eased his or her tension and even feel very powerful. However in the long run, the company would have one less customer to deal with next time.
It is widely accepted that the best way to handle customer complaints is to be assertive. Expressing your feelings and thoughts without belittling the customer is assertion. Assertion is expressing your feelings, opinions or rights whilst respecting the feelings, opinions and rights of the other person. This is obviously different from aggression, which does not care what the other person feels or thinks. To be assertive is also not to be passive. In a passive mode we respect the feelings of the other person and discount our own. The assertive business professional respects the feelings of the customer but expresses him/herself in the most forthright and honest way business decorum might permit. Assertion builds confidence in the business professional. It also recognises the fact that it is normal to make mistakes or occasionally fall short of the mark.
In the story above, the banker would have to first and foremost apologise to the customer and then go ahead to explain the circumstances that have caused the choking in the banking hall. If he is able to do this in all honesty whilst constantly maintaining eye contact, he is sure to get far with that particular customer. Also it is important under such circumstances to promise to compensate the customer for any inconvenience caused. I have had my fair share of these situations during my time in the corporate world. One way I always employ to get myself out of such situations is to seek the customer’s views on how I could do better next time. Customers, like all human beings, like it when their opinions are sought on matters. They detest it, however, when they are made to feel like they have no say in matters that concern them.
Passive and aggressive behaviour might solve a problem and even initially succeed in a relationship in a shorter time period. However, to build a long-lasting relationship between a business and its customers there is a need for all who handle customers to be professionally assertive in handling customer complaints and concerns.
J. N. Halm is an electrifying sales and customer care coach who works with small and big businesses with their merchandising, staff and management training, customer care and retention strategies, and image management. He is the CEO and Principal Consultant of Exsellers International, LLC, an avant-garde sales training and consulting firm involved in turning around and improving the sales fortunes of its partners through cutting-edge training seminars, recruitment and placement of highly trained sales professionals, and the provision of state-of-the-art sales-boosting products and services.
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